Thursday, December 8, 2011

Ranyn

I’ve always seen the car crash in your eyes
Since the day we made our friendship vows
On paper made of bruised skin and bones
Resembling our broken lives
That seemed to fuse us together
With blood transfusions
Of each other’s emotional DNA

We made like safety nets
Catching each other’s falls
Pretending to be our own personal heroes
Because we knew
That we were really just victims
Playing God
While we drowned in the rivers
Of our own destruction
 
You dedicated songs to me
And I wanted to play them back
Paste them on your wounds
As bandages
Write a “get well” note and sign my name
With shitty hearts and fake smiley faces
Because your pain
Reminded me too much of mine
Making accidental empathy collide into yours
Like something caused by carelessness
And carelessness always gets the handcuffs
 
But we were careless anyways
Feeding our sorrows to one another
Like feeding flames with gasoline
And problems became forest fires
Burning down foundations along with the trees
And somehow
I still thought I could save you
With the safety nets that we claimed to be
But I forgot that I was with you in the smoke
Inhaling deadly fumes
Alongside you in the blackness

And we struggled
We struggled together
Two helpless people
Panicking in the deep end
Trying to rescue one another
It didn’t make any sense
 
But we still held on
To our invisible life jackets
To each other
While we sank
To the bottom of everything
And I think
You forgot to breathe
Before we went under
Before we began inhaling sins
Like unwanted fluid
Entering our lungs
With no more room for one last gasp of air
It was too late

And pretty soon
I lost sight of your outstretched hand
The tips of my fingers just inches away from yours
Slipping
Slipping
Slipping away
And I didn’t mean to let go
But I did

And I’m sorry