Golden Gate Dreams

Do you remember?

That time
You sat on the edge of the dock
Right below the Golden Gate Bridge
Feeling that August breeze chill your bones
A sweet
Silent whisper of satisfaction
 
For the first time
You felt
This was the place to be
Only to realize
Hints of doubtful pleasure
Viciously glided through crevices of your piece of mind
 
Removing the stitches
That sewed your smile together
Suture by suture
Until the blood
From your bleeding lips
Seeped through your heart
With a mind blowing demolition of apathy
 
And that August breeze
Didn’t feel so sweet the second time
You looked down
Where the oceans surface
Rested
Inches below your dangling sneakers
Noticing
How easy it would be to collapse
 
Into this dark abyss because
Instead of security
Numbing your senses with the joy of definition
Pacific waters
On the verge of winter
Will just numb you with the senses of feeling nothing
 
So what did you do?
You connected
That bridge of golden gates
To the bridge that connects to your spine
Hoping
For a lemon drop of stimulation
To teleport you back
To that happy place you once called dream home
 
But that desire you once held on to
Flew away
Just like that seagull
That rested
Right next to you on the edge of the dock
Staring at you
With those black endless eyes
Seeming to say
That

Well, perhaps

Maybe

There’s somewhat of a chance

That you kinda

Sort of

Belong here

But I guess seagulls aren’t meant to give definite answers

So now you sit
On the edge of your bed
Pounding away
On that laptop
Forte epidemics of a concert pianist
 
Alone
 
Only able to speak with her fingertips
Ejecting word vomit onto white canvas
Frustration colored thoughts
Painting memories
With California skies
Attentively reaching for a sign
 
Neon printed notices
Chasing autumn leaves
Long enough to catch your attention
Something
Anything
That will call you back
To Pacific Ocean waters
Golden Gates
City lights
Comfort zones
Alcatraz playing peek-a-boo through fog
Across your backyard

But all you have to do is
Let understanding set in
Don’t wait
For “eventuallys” and “better times”
You’ve always heard
Later never happens
Be patient
Yet assertive because
When you feel it in your gut
Don’t let chances pass you by
 
Do you hear that?
Your Ocean waters are calling